I get knocked down.

I get knocked down, but I get up again... dun dun dun dun dun dun.

Last week I decided to talk a jog around town. You know, get back into the habit. Crossing fingers. Anyway, part way in to my run I was feeling great, until I felt not so great. I looked down to change a song on my phone and before I knew it, I was laying on the concrete.

It was one of those uneven sidewalks and I knew I had no chance of saving myself before I went splat. I had a temporary spat with gravity, and gravity won. I knew it was bad when I didn't even care about my phone falling onto the ground. I did the whole, jump up, look around to make sure no one saw me and start running again. Only, I took one step and was like, nope, not happening.

A week later, I am proud to say it hasn't hindered my running schedule. I have a nasty bruise and some scratches and scabs on my left knee, but for the most part I am good. What got me really thinking about this, is the fact that I have a huge scab. I feel like I haven't had one for years. Which can mean a couple of things, mainly I am either not active enough, or I am extremely graceful and not clumsy.

Haha I am going to go with the first. I want to be healthy, I want to make good, life long habits. Maybe get a few more scratches and bruises before, old age and adult body catch up with me.

Day Three in Cali

For some reason, I woke up this morning around 7 AM. I might be able to blame it on the heat again, this condo has no AC. I repeat, no AC. I guess that is a normal thing if you are living at the beach. Instantly I rolled over and began reading my book... until I finished the entire thing. It was a good easy read that let me lose myself in the story, and now I am sad its over.

We all were like snails this morning, slow movers. After that was all said and done though, my mom, franki, her friend Desi and I found ourselves at Legoland. I've never been there before, but my sister Shawna got us free tickets so why not? The two hours we were there were fun, again not much to do, but I can see the appeal to a 4 year old. If those two amusement parks I had gone to weren't free, I would never pay to go to them. I would much rather spend my money at Disneyland, which is awesome all the time.

After some food and a nap, we made our way to the beach. Always awesome, and these sunsets have not been a let down. My emotions have crept on me though. I don't want to go back to Utah, but at the same time I do. I need to get back to regular life and, deal with/cope whatever path I am about to be on.

Day TWO in Cali

So I skipped day one, but lets just say it was full of a dental appointment, hair appointment, flash flood, etc.

And here I am at the end of day two. It's been sort of rough, I have let my emotions get the best of me. I woke up with a horrible headache, probably because I slept too long. Got dressed and headed the the Wild Animal Park here in San Diego with my family. I stepped outside and I was instantly dripping sweat. The weather was near a 100 and extremely humid.

I feel like you can only spend so much time there. It's not like you get too much interaction with the animals. So with the mixture of my mood and when boredom set in we left and made it to the beach. It was seriously beautiful, and we were at a perfect spot. I never wanted to leave, but everyone was hungry and so we made our way to this hole in the wall mexican restaurant. I miss those things.

It was still early enough in the day that I didn't want to go sit back at the condo. I had my dad drop me off by the pier where I planned to lay, read and ponder. My mom wanted to come so she napped next to me. I cant say enough how nice it was. It reminds of how much I love this earth and the amazing things that we have been given here. Just being outside and enjoying them brings me such happiness and peace. It was everything that I have been needing.

Upon my return to our place, I instantly grabbed the book I had bought at the airport and continued reading. I forgot how it feels to absolutely lose yourself in a book. It's the best when you want to escape the emotions you are trying to forget about.

Heres to hoping tomorrow is a great day and I wont let those things affect me.

Highland Park

In my new place, which is 3x the size of my last. In my own bedroom which is larger than my bedroom at my parents. Do I need this much space? Life, where are you taking me.

my brother.

I am feeling extra sensitive right now. I have known that my little brother was being sent to South Korea by the marine core, but now it is actually tomorrow. I probably should be more up to date on the current events of the world, but what I do know is that North Korea isn't happy and that can mean trouble for a lot of people. Which in turn, puts my brother in an unsafe area.

Sometimes he posts tons of selfies of himself and his body and I find happiness in making fun of that, but I love him. He has this, "tough guy" exterior and as annoying as it is sometimes, he always is looking out for his sisters. He cares deeply about the people around him and is proud to be serving our country. I admire his dedication.

As I kneeled down in prayer tonight, I felt the strongest spirit. I know that Heavenly Father will be watching over him and I am so grateful for that. I have been so blessed by my family and the love that we have for one another.

Can I just say that I had an awesome day? But more on that later...

Not to get all sappy and what not, but this really has been weighing on my mind! So here's the story... This past week I flew to California, it was awesome. I took the lonely ride on the airport tram to get back to my car. While on said tram, there was a couple sitting right across from me with a newborn child in the stroller. They were so flippin cute, the couple looked like they were in their early 30's. To be honest, they weren't the most physically attractive couple I ever have seen, but they loved each other. It just radiated from them. You could tell the husband adored his wife and child, they sat there and laughed and smiled with each other. In a non over the top, non creepy way. 

I want that. I can't wait to have that. For the most part, I could care less what my future spouse physically looks like. I want someone who will make me laugh, and just love me and out future family. I feel like relationships focus so much on the outward appearance. It should be completely inward. I am excited for the day when I meet someone whose soul is the completion of mine. I trust in Heavenly Father and his timing, I know that this will happen for me when the timing is right. 

Today was wonderful, that is all. 

Breathe In, Breath Out.

Taking a trip home can be like transporting to another world. I live in a place, where none of my family resides and it’s great. My roommates and friends in the ward are my family when I am away from home, and I have no complaints. I am allowed to be independent and do as I please. However, it is like a breath of fresh air to visit home every once in awhile.

This past week, I was able to take a couple days out of my schedule; more like cut a chunk out of my next paycheck, and fly back to California. It’s like recharging my batteries. It’s a place that is so familiar and the people you are surrounded with have grown up with you. There are no judgments passed inside my family’s home and I can just be myself 100%.

I feel rejuvenated and have a fresher more clear perspective on who I am and what I need to do. It’s nice. I am ready to go back to Utah, just maybe not work haha. This trip reminded me of how truly blessed I am, and I don’t think anyone can get enough reminders of that. Heavenly Father has given us this life, filled with trials and moments of joy. We are here to learn, and for that, I am appreciative. 

a tug that way, and a pull this way

There is in no way, we can know exactly what is going to happen next in our life. However, we can guide where we want to be.

This trip home opened my eyes a little more to the world. I live in a fairytale land in Provo. Now if you ever have lived there, you might understand it a little better. It is full of college students, with an air of safeness. I love that factor and I love that there are tons of people my age, who share the same faith. It is also kind of like an LDS dating mecca. No success there, but that's another blog post haha.

What I realized, and already knew, is that I wont be there forever. Probably another year, because for some reason I just have a deep pit of feeling that is where I need to be, then who knows. I miss the diversity though, it was like a breath of fresh air being home. Yeah, I was locking my car the very second I got out and turning around watching my back for someone who was going to rob me haha. But [people are so unique, everybody has a different life story. We, as members of the church have such an opportunity to help change peoples lives for the better with the Gospel. I think it is also a test for ourselves and our faith.

I decided, that if by fall of 2014, and nothing is holding me back, I am moving out of Provo. Life choices are scary, aren't they?

...I'm really good at rambling off topic if you couldnt tell haha

peanut butter cookies

It's tuesday night at 10 o'clock... PM. I just put a batch of peanut butter cookies in the oven and Becky is just finishing up her homemade cinnamon rolls as well. What is going on?

When did I ever think that I would be sitting in my apartment, late on a weekday night, baking? It's just a little bit funny. I have never classified myself as someone who would consider that a hobby. Is this something that single girls in their mid 20's find themselves doing? In that case, bring it on!

The thing about it, is that I actually enjoy it. Lately, I have been finding myself stressed and not as positive as normal. When I was still stranded in Moreno Valley, my hometown in California, my life consisted of going to work and coming home to my bed. It sounds normal, but not when you nap from 6-9 and then wake up for a few hours and take it back to the sheets til work began in the morning again. The reason that this was my routine is because I wasn't happy where I was.

So when I did that today, I awoke with an annoyance. I am so happy and I have so much to be grateful for! The sun is shining (as of late), I am on my own, my family and friends are amazing, etc. Which brings me back to baking.... at 10 PM.

I think as you get older, you learn things about yourself you were severely unaware of. Tonight I learned that baking releases stress. Being able to focus on a recipe, you kind of forget your worries. You're mind is working on creating something... DELICIOUS. So tonight it was peanut butter cookies. Mostly because I had all the ingredients at home and was already in sweats. There was no way you would get me to change out of these things and make the trek to Smiths. Which isn't a trek at all, just extremely high chances you will run into someone you know, someone attractive. It always happens at the worst moments.

Until next time...

PS. I burned my first batch, they are disgusting. Better luck on the next go around!

and the greatest of all is love.

Woke up in a rush this morning, scrambling to hit snooze, woke up again and threw myself out of bed. In a half sleep daze, I took the 5 steps to my closet and just stared. As my mind was beginning to comprehend that it was Valentines Day, I lurched towards my pink pants. So yes, that is what I ran out the door wearing today. Pink pants, and it's great. 

I love love. Everything about it. 

Tender mercy on top of tender mercy!

I woke up this morning, rolled onto the other side of my body, and proceeded to mumble, "waaaah, its Monday" to Becky. But how would I have known that today would be filled with tender mercy, on top of tender mercy. 

First, I have another blog, I don't know if you've seen it (whoever you are that is reading this). It's Confessions of an LDS Convert in case you were curious. The idea of that blog came to me this past New Years Eve night. I love to share my experiences with the gospel because it has transformed my life! It is what brings me the most joy and meaning here on earth, so what better way than to express it through technology. Anyway, sometimes I will get messages from people saying that it has touched them in some way and I just about melt every time. That is what I ultimately want, I want to be able to share this unique journey with others and be able to relate, or set an example. If I can touch one person who isn't a member, and just get them thinking about drawing themselves nearer to Heavenly Father, I will feel accomplished. Back to the messages thing, I received one today that really touched me. I wont go on about what it said, but it truly reached within me and gave me the warmest feeling. 

An hour later, I receive an email from my friend who is on a mission. I haven't talked to him for a bit and what he shared with me, made me smile from ear to ear. I was grinning big time. No, he didn't confess his love for me or any of that nonsense, and I know its annoying when people say something, but dont explain it in it's entirety, but it was amazing. It was a story of sharing the gospel. 

My greatest happiness comes from the gospel, that is all. 

we all need a pep talk!

I just had to throw this in a blog post. Whats better than a little crazy kid telling me to take the road less traveled?!

Speaking of roads, I have no idea where my current road is leading me. I know that I make the decisions, but where am I going? I feel like these are the times when I am truly relying on the big guy above for guidance.

Lucky for me, it's Sunday tomorrow! What a great day of the week.

This past week I have really been focusing on His plan for me. I trust in Him completely, well I try at least. Point is, He has given me so much to be grateful for! I really was able to ponder the thoughts in my head while waiting at the temple. I can say I want this and I want that, but I really need to do my part. I can't just expect things to be given to me.

I feel lucky enough already for the way He has helped me grow. He has placed people in my life that have become my best friends. He has helped me build a more righteous life. He has given me the strength to make big decisions.

Adventures are coming my way and I am going to make the best of them! Becky and I decided we are going to fill our Saturdays with activities. None of this sit at home stuff. This past monday we went indoor rock climbing, and while today we didn't do anything that crazy, we made it to the Mount Timpanogos Temple. I think thats a great way to spend our day. Cheers to that!

here comes the... snow.

I was living in Utah last winter... this winter is different.

Every morning this past week I have woken up, dreading getting out of bed because I know I will have to walk in the freezing cold to my car. My car isn't far away, it's just a problem when you get into it and are too scared to turn the heater on for fear of getting blasted with cold air! I sit there and drive to work with my fingertips touching and turning the steering wheel. I watch my breath fog up my glasses, inside of my car.

The other night me and Becky were walking out of the gym. I think it is obvious from my post, that it is COLD! I told her to pretend that this white fluffy stuff littering the ground is sand. We were swimming in an ocean until we got into the car haha.

I love how beautiful the snow is though. I love that there are actually 4 seasons in this state. I watched a youtube video of Californians complaining about the 30-50 degree weather they were having. What a bunch of whiners! Haha kidding, I am sure I would be there right with them if I had never moved here.

Went sledding at Rock Canyon Park on Saturday. Brrr! I stopped feeling my toes and that was alright until I got home. I turned on the bath to warm water and stuck my feet in to regain some blood flow. Bad idea, it stung so bad! A couple days later I realized my butt was bruised too. Oh the joys of fun and ice. It was a beautiful day though :)

(This sums up Fran's entire trip)

(Got the big gloves on)

(1...2...3... go!)

(Fran getting some assistance)

(We couldn't really go down like this, too dangerous lol)

simple life.

I can't forget about this blog, now can I?

The simple things in life are the best. I am all about simple. When I was at Disneyland with my mom, we were standing there sharing a dole whip (classic) and we were so happy. That moment was perfect. I came into my apartment the other day from the zero degree weather and took a hot shower. That warmth was perfect. When I flew back from California to Utah, I had the window seat. It was dark and I could see a perfect layer of clouds below us, almost as if we were in another world. The plane was descending and as we peaked through to the earth below it seemed like we had just transported somewhere completely different. I love earth, it's beautiful. 

(I seriously love this lady, my mom and I at Disneyland.)

I have been trying to get back into the swing of things here in Utah. Work, exercise, the usual. I've been over analyzing everything I do with my other blog Confessions of an LDS Convert. I want to share experiences, but not sound boastful. I do not think I am better or more holier than thou, than anyone else. These things that I am sharing on there are things that mean so much to me. 

Okay I am done rambling, until next time. 

being a kid all over again

Today was the first day of 2013 and I couldn't have spent it any better! I pretty much relived my youth in a span of 10 hours. Dragging this old body of mine from California Adventure to Disneyland with my mom. I'm not lying, while waiting in those lines my neck hurt and I am still due for a massage. Who is to give it to me? Well, that is still in question.

We anticipated the parks to be swamped since it was a holiday, and miraculously it wasn't as bad expected! Our game plan involved dabbling in the new Cars Land ride and wow was that ever worth it. Highly recommend waiting out the lines and zig zagging throughout the crowds to get to it. I thoroughly enjoyed listening to my mom and I giggle the entire time. We were truly happy. 

I also indulged in a dole whip that was ever so pleasant tasting and snagged myself a sweet minnie t-shirt. What's Disneyland without the souvenirs? I held back on the mouse ears I was tempted to buy as well. I had to maintain some of that maturity that is somewhere inside of me!

January 1st was a day well spent!