my brother.

I am feeling extra sensitive right now. I have known that my little brother was being sent to South Korea by the marine core, but now it is actually tomorrow. I probably should be more up to date on the current events of the world, but what I do know is that North Korea isn't happy and that can mean trouble for a lot of people. Which in turn, puts my brother in an unsafe area.

Sometimes he posts tons of selfies of himself and his body and I find happiness in making fun of that, but I love him. He has this, "tough guy" exterior and as annoying as it is sometimes, he always is looking out for his sisters. He cares deeply about the people around him and is proud to be serving our country. I admire his dedication.

As I kneeled down in prayer tonight, I felt the strongest spirit. I know that Heavenly Father will be watching over him and I am so grateful for that. I have been so blessed by my family and the love that we have for one another.

Can I just say that I had an awesome day? But more on that later...

Not to get all sappy and what not, but this really has been weighing on my mind! So here's the story... This past week I flew to California, it was awesome. I took the lonely ride on the airport tram to get back to my car. While on said tram, there was a couple sitting right across from me with a newborn child in the stroller. They were so flippin cute, the couple looked like they were in their early 30's. To be honest, they weren't the most physically attractive couple I ever have seen, but they loved each other. It just radiated from them. You could tell the husband adored his wife and child, they sat there and laughed and smiled with each other. In a non over the top, non creepy way. 

I want that. I can't wait to have that. For the most part, I could care less what my future spouse physically looks like. I want someone who will make me laugh, and just love me and out future family. I feel like relationships focus so much on the outward appearance. It should be completely inward. I am excited for the day when I meet someone whose soul is the completion of mine. I trust in Heavenly Father and his timing, I know that this will happen for me when the timing is right. 

Today was wonderful, that is all. 

Breathe In, Breath Out.

Taking a trip home can be like transporting to another world. I live in a place, where none of my family resides and it’s great. My roommates and friends in the ward are my family when I am away from home, and I have no complaints. I am allowed to be independent and do as I please. However, it is like a breath of fresh air to visit home every once in awhile.

This past week, I was able to take a couple days out of my schedule; more like cut a chunk out of my next paycheck, and fly back to California. It’s like recharging my batteries. It’s a place that is so familiar and the people you are surrounded with have grown up with you. There are no judgments passed inside my family’s home and I can just be myself 100%.

I feel rejuvenated and have a fresher more clear perspective on who I am and what I need to do. It’s nice. I am ready to go back to Utah, just maybe not work haha. This trip reminded me of how truly blessed I am, and I don’t think anyone can get enough reminders of that. Heavenly Father has given us this life, filled with trials and moments of joy. We are here to learn, and for that, I am appreciative. 

a tug that way, and a pull this way

There is in no way, we can know exactly what is going to happen next in our life. However, we can guide where we want to be.

This trip home opened my eyes a little more to the world. I live in a fairytale land in Provo. Now if you ever have lived there, you might understand it a little better. It is full of college students, with an air of safeness. I love that factor and I love that there are tons of people my age, who share the same faith. It is also kind of like an LDS dating mecca. No success there, but that's another blog post haha.

What I realized, and already knew, is that I wont be there forever. Probably another year, because for some reason I just have a deep pit of feeling that is where I need to be, then who knows. I miss the diversity though, it was like a breath of fresh air being home. Yeah, I was locking my car the very second I got out and turning around watching my back for someone who was going to rob me haha. But [people are so unique, everybody has a different life story. We, as members of the church have such an opportunity to help change peoples lives for the better with the Gospel. I think it is also a test for ourselves and our faith.

I decided, that if by fall of 2014, and nothing is holding me back, I am moving out of Provo. Life choices are scary, aren't they?

...I'm really good at rambling off topic if you couldnt tell haha