Quick update

I feel as if I haven't written anything in awhile, and there has been so much going on around me and in my mind. My life is so put together and a mess at the same time. The mess is the thoughts of moving because I have no idea where to start! Packing is the worst. So far I have bought some sheets and towels, woo hoo! Actually, I am really excited about my sheets haha, I am such an adult now lol.

I have one week left with Lily and it breaks my heart everyday to think about it. I only have 7 working days left at my job, and tomorrow I am going to fax out some resumes to Oral Surgery offices in Utah. Crossing my fingers and praying for some openings! My room is currently in shambles, I need to do massive amounts of laundry. I am trying to fit in seeing people, but I feel like I am just so busy. Lately, I have really been missing Jake. He just knew me so well, and I love receiving emails from him. I am just going to throw in some current pictures with some captions.

Dr. Eftimie and all of us at Sevillas

Erin and Me and the Mission Inn office Christmas Dinner

baby girl before and after her haircut

Me, Shelby and Ingrid at Dallins party

Me and Ingrid eating massive pizza slices!

Offer our 'whole souls'

When I think of missionaries, I start to cry. I have become one of those women in church that cry! When did this happen, and actually when did I become a woman? Haha, I am too young for that. Sister Bergquist always starts her Institute class asking of when we felt the spirit in the previous week. My mind directly went to Jake and his mission. So I started to share that saying goodbye to Jake the night before was extremely hard for me, but as my selfish desires were wiped away, I clearly saw the extent and greatness of what he is doing. I am so excited for him to share the gospel because missionaries change lives, they changed my life by sharing their knowledge of the gospel with me. He is going to be able to bless so many people. And naturally now since I am one of those woman who cry in church, this was said through tears and no one probably understood what was really coming out of my mouth haha.

So as of right now, he is actually in the MTC. Phone turned off and all. He read my letter on his flight to Utah and when he landed we exchanged our last texts from the outside world. We told each other how proud we are of one another. I am sure going to miss him! I can't wait to hear from him hopefully next week and see how his week has gone. He definitely is my favorite missionary.

The night of Institute I was just speaking of, had the topic of offerings. We went through the old testament in Leviticus. Learning that if we offer sacrifice, we have to offer it willingly. Are we willing to give up our all, and give up our all for him? In Omni 1:26 out of the Book of Mormon it says...

26 And now, my beloved brethren, I would that ye should ^acomeunto Christ, who is the Holy One of Israel, and partake of his salvation, and the power of his redemption. Yea, come unto him, and ^boffer your whole souls as an ^coffering unto him, and continue in ^dfasting and praying, and endure to the end; and as the Lord liveth ye will be saved.

I love that scripture, 'and offer your whole souls, as an offering unto him.' Offer him everything, just as he has given everything for us. 

goodbyes are hard

I don't know if it is a good or bad thing to write when you are emotional, but that is my current state. Tears streaming down my face, the little bit of eyeliner I have on, smudged.

I just said bye to Jake. I am not sure how, but somewhere along this year he has become my best friend. He pretty much knows everything about me, how to make me laugh and right now, how to make me cry by leaving. What he is doing is right though, serving a mission. I'm just a little bit heartbroken that this person that I have become so close with, and really the only person that I actually talk to anymore is going to be gone from my life. I wont be able to just text him when something random happens in my day, or drive over to his house whenever I feel like it, even though walking would save gas since it is really only about 10 houses away. Who is going to watch music videos with me into the late hours of the morning?

I am so proud of him, but I am sad for me. I thought that when I joined the church, I wouldn't have this problem because all my friends all served their missions. I honestly would have been a wreck if I knew the significance of a mission, or were as close as I am with Jake, when other friends left for theirs.

uncertainty

The only thing I am certain of is that I am going through some changes. Change equals growth though, right? My mind is running in a thousand different directions unsure of what to make of certain things. In short, I am starting to get that alone feeling even though I am surrounded by lots of friends and people. I have no idea what I would do if I wasn't going to be moving. To be stuck in this town, in this rut of not moving forward, I swear it would slowly kill me. I am constantly looking back on the decisions I have made in this past year, and I can only imagine what next year will hold for me. Surprises, endless surprises. Where will I be in a year from now? Well I can guarantee that I will be 24. Will I be in Utah, Idaho, back in California? Where will I be working? Will I have a boyfriend, fiance, husband? It is hard and exciting to look at the endless opportunities for the future, but when you know it is going to take a lot of courage, change and independence to do these things it is kind of scary. The unknown is a bit scary. I need to learn to rely on myself.  30-35ish days until I move out, I still haven't picked a definite date. To think that this year was a complete change and journey, I can only imagine what next year brings.

"Two roads diverged in a wood,

and I ---

I took the one less traveled by, 

and that has made all the difference."

-Robert Frost

My creative juices have not been flowing at all lately. I take that back, my writing creative juices have not been flowing lately. I found the most cute refrigerator christmas decoration on pinterest that was simple and easy though. Something that I just had to do! Since I can't make real snowmen with snow, one of construction paper taped to my fridge will have to suffice.

As the holidays are nearing, I find myself becoming more and more excited for thanksgiving and christmas! At the same time, I get a little disappointed because they aren't as fun as I remember them when I was younger. When I have kids, I am sure they will go back to that childish excitement, but until then I will fill my holidays with fun crafts. Like my snowman fridge haha

Speaking of childhood fun, me and Jake were able to go to Disneyland this past friday thanks to Ingrid! I hadn't been there in over a year and half, and I had never been there during christmas time. I forgot how much I love that place, you can't be anything but happy there. Unless of course you get stuck in a long line between two groups of pre-teen girls without adult supervision who know nothing about personal space and continuously keep bumping into you and hanging off your back.... Haha okay, not that thats off my chest, like I said it was nothing but fun! And I am glad we were able to go before Jake leaves in 10 days. I wont see him for 18 months! Out of a life span, that really is a short amount of time and I know what he is doing is what he should be, but we have become such good friends I am sad I wont be able to just text, call or just barge into his house whenever I feel like it.

When I think about moving I know that it is the right decision. When I think about not having a job when I move there and my bills and money, I start stressing out. I know things will work out though, and I am grateful for this opportunity to move. Being around people my age with such strength in the church will help me to continue to keep a strong testimony. Not that mine is slipping away, but I feel like it has come to a halt a little bit, it isn't progressing as much as it has been. I know that thats my fault, but it's been harder for me to find the strength to do everything I need too.

A little bit of fall showing in the neighborhood trees.
Thats all for tonight <3

my food cravings

I have the most odd food cravings. I swear every month it changes to a new obsession. I just text someone telling them how much I love cinnamon applesauce. No really, I just did. Last month it was milky ways, and the month before that it was the velveeta mac and cheese instant cups. I am not exactly sure what is wrong with me, but I crave things. I can't even imagine how bezerk my cravings will go one day when I am pregnant. There are just certain foods I love! I am the worst person at having self control over those things too, and none of them are ever that good for me. I love mashed potatoes, can you say fatty? I love little cesars breadsticks, can you say carbs! I really really love sugar free redbulls, hello bad energy drink. Haha seriously though, what is wrong with me?

DECEMBER

Yes, I realize this is a post about the month of December and we are still in the month of November, but it is all I can think about. That 12th month of the year is going to be an extreme amount of changed, packed into a small amount of time. It will be my last month spent in California until I move to Utah. I have lived in my parents house, in this exact room I am in at this moment for the last 20 years. It wont just be moving out from under my parents roof and on my own, but more like moving out from under my parents roof and on my own into a completely different state! I am more excited than scared, but still a little bit scared. I will be leaving my current job which I love, to trying and finding a job in Utah, hopefully with some good luck. I have bills to pay and now an additional rent.

Now for the biggest change of all. Giving away my dog who holds a huge chunk of my heart. I try not to think about it as much as possible because I seem to burst into tears like a little girl at the thought of it.

So like I have stated, December is on my mind. It holds more change than I know. I will need to learn to cook, to clean more often, to be more independent, to drive and live in snow and so much more. When I pack up my room I am sure I will realize how much of my sisters clothes I really take haha, gone are the days of borrowing her new items. It will be like spring cleaning, but winter cleaning. I will be throwing out all the things I have slowly collected throughout my life since they can't just continue to sit there. My mother is turning my room into her new office as soon as I leave. She couldn't wait to get me out could she? haha

Let's take a step back to our current month of November. This past weekend I made a trip to my future home! I really do love Utah, maybe because I don't live there yet. I will have to update my feelings on the place once I do. I love that there are so many people around my age, and so many new friends to make. I love that I love that everyone has the same religious beliefs and that it seems everyone there has ambition to make something of themselves in life. I have so much fun every time I visit and I know that me and Kelli will get along great living together. That's all for now, until next time!

awful waffle

Kelli's apartment

after church

american secrets

Normally my showers do not last more than 10 minutes (but then again it depends if I have to shave my legs or not). After church I cuddled up in my covers, lily in the crevice of my leg and took a nap. When I awoke to the sound of rain pouring down my mind immediately went to a steaming hot shower and that is exactly what I did. I just stood there under the hot steamy water, ever so slightly turning it up so that it lightly singed my skin until it was tolerable. Once it was, I repeated to turn it up again slowly. That, to me, is enjoyable. I returned to my sweats and sweatshirts, making my way down stairs for some dinner.

That thought brings me to something else. I am going to need to invest in some more attractive pajamas. Mine consist of huge sweatshirts, wrinkled big t-shirts, nothing cute. I know people will be in and out of the apartment in Provo and I can't risk looking that bad haha.

Today was fast sunday. I love listening to people make their way up to the podium and bare their testimonies. They strengthen mine in so many ways, just perfect examples of how Christ has worked in their life and has provided them with knowledge and comfort. Eric repeated a quote during sunday school that stuck with me. "You can accomplish anything with two people. As long as one of them is Christ." So true!

Last night I attended the Parachute concert at the El Rey Theater in LA. Let's just say they are amazing and Will Anderson melts my heart. They had so much energy and are so talented! However, Kate Voegele sucked. Seriously. She is a good singer, but she is just SO boring. Back to Parachute, amazing amazing amazing! I might just be in love <3 It was a fun trip to take with my sisters.

on the news

As I sit here cuddled up in my blanket that I have had since the age of 2, I realize that I am getting old. I am enjoying the news, channel 7 news to be exact! I feel that I need to be more educated. The other day I found myself googling how to learn the location of the states. I live here in the US and I am not proud to say I don't know where anything geography is! After finding a website that allowed me to play a game where I would drag that states to their proper spots, I feel a lot more confident in my state locating abilities haha. However, it took me a whole hour.

While my mind was wandering at work yesterday, I started thinking of things that make me, "me." The fact that I find easy excitement in the simplest things. I enjoy socks, I do not enjoy finding matching pairs. 90% of the time I am wearing socks, they do not match. The other 10% is when they are most likely holiday socks, and those of course match. Because I just have to buy socks that are a symbol of the season I am in. I enjoy mail. When I am sending out letters at work, I have to make sure that the stamp is perfectly straight with the corner, a couple millimeters away from the edge. Also, they need to be cute stamps, like the ones I put on our statement envelopes are Disney ones that include Up, Toy Story, Wall-E, etc.

I tend to laugh at my own jokes and I find nothing wrong with that. As long as I am having a good time, shoot. I love when I can find a CD where every song is enjoyable. During Christmas time, I pull out my must have reindeer antler ears and big red nose for my car and sport that around town. On my drive to work in the mornings I give myself a private concert. I am pleased with the fact that I am a jeans and t-shirt kind of person and occasionally enjoy dressing up. I will try anything outdoorsy as long as it doesn't involve stomach jumpy feelings or bees. Man, I hate bees.

Today, I received something from RCC in the mail. Let me just tell you that I have had my Associates Degree for over a year technically, but the certificate finally came. One small degree down, Bachelors here I come!

sweet sweet november

Aw, sweet sweet november, you have arrived. As another month from this year comes to a close and a new one begins, I can't help but think back to a year prior. I can recall memories of exactly what kind of lifestyle I was living at the time. If you would tell my old self that in a year you would be here, a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, planning on moving to Utah and attending an LDS school, etc, I would have not believed me for one second. This year has been good to me, more than I could have ever imagined. I have grown in so many ways, taking every good and bad experience and turning them into something of use.

November: Happiness in myself, my decisions, my choices, I cant control people, but I can control myself

As I look forward to the start of this month, I somehow feel rejuvenated. Looking at these past months makes me happy, even through the 'downs'. I have strength within myself, that comes from our heavenly father. I am never alone and I know that he has a plan. As of today, I can say that with a solid foundation. 

This saturday I am going to see Parachute in concert! I somehow managed to make this a sister event and it makes it all that much better, bonding time. This will be Fran's first concert ever and I have no doubts she will not love it. I have been obsessively listening to the band over and over, and have managed to develop a crush on the lead singer. Music melts into my soul, scriptures melt into my soul, what a coincidence. Sweet sweet November.

<3 Will Anderson

life whispers, listen closely

It's safe to say, I had to shed a few tears before the month of October. What is a month that doesn't include  a bit of those moistened droplets falling from the corners of your eyes. The hardest thing I will ever have to do up until now, will be to give my precious dog Lily to a different family. I have had a good cry about it today, since my dads stance will not be shaken. It pains me to even think about it. Okay, I am done thinking about it for now.

This leads me to visiting teaching. October was the first month that I ever have gone. Working out which days and times works for both me and my visiting teaching partner, along with those we are supposed to visit proved tough. Schedules always conflicted, but once we made it work it was great. I enjoyed spending time with these people and just listening and sharing thoughts. It always feel nice to be needed for something and it also allows me to open my mind. To the fact that people have hardships, and things that may be hard in my life, are very minimal to what another person may be or have gone through. I am grateful for this life that I have, for this health that I am in.

So, to me it looks as if I will be heading to BYU-I for spring semester. There is nothing set in stone, but the more I consider the option, the smarter the choice it seems to be. In order to progress, I need to attend a University and I can't just sit around and wait just because I don't want to live in a certain place. A place can be temporary. If I am going to be giving up my best friend, who would never leave my side and is always happy to see me, it better be for a darn good reason and I better accomplish something :(

This past week, I haven't able to control my thoughts. As hard as I try, my thoughts always wander back to something I am trying so hard to suppress. It is just difficult, when your heart doesn't agree with your brain.

On repeat, over and over and over, will be seeing them next saturday, in 6 days! I bought two tickets, and I am not sure who I am going with yet, haha oh well I will figure it out.

listen, enjoy and let your mind melt into this beautiful song.

"Hold my breath as you're moving in,
taste your lips and feel your skin."

REpeating

The past few days have been a lazy blur. Wednesday I meant to go to the gym, but didn't. Thursday, did a couple errands and went running with Haley, but for the most part took a couple naps and was successfully unproductive. Friday, spent some time at the Sprunts where I brought Lily and the kids were extremely eager to walk her around the neighborhood so we did and took turns. It was pretty cute, but by the time I got home I proceeded with my habit of hanging out in my room laying in my bed, which then leads to more sleep.

While surfing the web last night, after I sat at home alone watching Dateline NBC (my favorite friday night show when I don't go out), I started to come across different crafts. My love for books and reading is no secret, if you take me into a bookstore, I will be happy for hours wandering by myself flipping through pages and pages. Ever since I was little, I have always wanted to hollow out a book. To have my own hiding space for who knows what, in the middle of a bookcase. So that is exactly what I am going to be doing today, attempting to hollow out a book! We will just call this saturday, craftday. I also came across this cool bracelet pattern, so I might take a trip to Joann's or Michaels so that I can partake in making bracelets haha. What I ideally would enjoy doing today would be taking a trip outdoors, maybe the mountains or the beach. Nooobody to go with though.

I feel as if I am falling into a past daze of things I enjoy. I started re-reading the first Twilight, which I am even as excited about the story as I was the first time I read it years ago. I have been yearning for a good love story, and this is gauranteed. There is so much more in books, details that make everything perfect, than in the movies. As I sit away and type this blog post, I am re-watching Harry Potter 7 part 1. My love for Harry, Ron and Hermione will never fade I don't think.

And the the ultimate questions that have been nagging at my brain this week. What am I going to do with Lily when I leave? What is the best possible place, situation and person for her? and even worse, What do you buy your ex-boyfriend for his birthday? Nothing? Only time will tell the choice I will be forced to make haha.

ba da bing!

a friend posted this earlier and i took a liking to it, it is just up front and straight to the point.

Also, I figured I didn't have much to talk about so I decided to upload a couple pictures I have taken recently. This is my daily life and things I have come across in the last day.

my morning commute.

drew woody during institute.

my pumpkin sleeping on me last night.

my neighbors skeleton.

goodbye sun

my loveable buttercup.

The soothing sound of rain, fresh breeze of cool air, warmth of a sweater and hot chocolate in my hand creates a feeling I can not explain. Thank you Moreno Valley for providing a day of weather I am happy to approve of! Besides the fact that I am one of those losers that enjoy sitting in their car on their lunch breaks alone, today was nice and relaxing, twilight book in hand. Yes, I read twilight. Yes, I am rereading it. I am in dire need of a good love story, and it seems that I have been recently unable to find an amazing one. I love reading and if a book doesn't get a firm grasp on me from the start its just falls by the waste side of some corner in my room until I come across it again and give it another chance. Wow, I just realized the previous sentence was a long one.

So one more day of work this week! Woooo hoooo, not that I work a lot, but last week on my days off they were just BUSY. I was able to go running wednesday-saturday, go to knotts scary farm for free, go to downtown disney, saturday night stake conference, the Ronald Reagan library and back to work again monday.

Tonights agenda, institute! I will keep updating this week :)

stake conference saturday night

Lately, I have been facing a slight struggle with attending church activities. Some days I just feel a bit dragged down after work and choose sleep and laziness over institute, or going to all 3 hours on sunday. Not that it's an excuse, but being the only member in my family takes a toll. This past week I had my wisdom teeth removed so it gave me even more of an excuse to skip out on things. Nonetheless, it is now a week later and I was able to attend the saturday night session of our stake conference. I loved it.

Every talk given, spoke straight to my heart and I felt the impact of each deep inside of me. You could feel the spirit stronger than I remember having felt it lately. I am grateful to know what that feeling is. It is an emotion packed sensation that fills you. It brings grown men to tears. This conference reaffirmed my already existing knowledge that this church is true. That this is what is right, no questions.

The first talk was given by President Sprunt (Sams dad). It's always interesting hearing stories from someone you personally know, they hit you with a greater impact than most others. He touched on the fact that we can't afford to just, "go through the motions," in these latter days. I need to put the commitment into visiting teaching (which I have never done), always attending church and every institute, paying tithing, etc. That every calling is of importance. That there is no such thing as an insignificant calling or one that goes unnoticed. Which brings me back to all the things people said or did without realizing it, as I was going through the baptism process. That helped strengthen me and my testimony. He also spoke of wind. That, at one point, we are all somebody's wind. Picking someone up in a way that we might not even realize or notice.

When Kelsey and Tanner gave their talk it was refreshing. It was refreshing coming from people around my age, having such a strong involvement in the church. I was reminded that decisions now affect not only this life, but our eternal life. That the Lord is there waiting, but we need to act. We need to put the effort and come to him. Not only can other peoples faith grow as they begin to learn of the church, but you seeing that growth can strengthen your own. Faith is a verb, an action word. Faith can not be physically seen. Our Heavenly Father will always provide and always be our light in the darkness. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. My faith has made me whole. It has given me as a person, a full heart.

..."My new life started the day I was baptized." I can relate to this. I have been given a second chance to live life the way it is supposed to be. Living life through the light of Christ. I am technically 4 months old, still stumbling and learning, taking my first steps. Those stumbles give me the chance to prove my worthiness and a chance to prove my faith. We have the opportunity to speak to our father at any time of the day, anywhere that we are. I constantly find myself saying a 5 second prayer of gratitude for random things that I realize as I go throughout my day. I say a prayer of thanks after arriving somewhere, I say a prayer of thanks after I see a patient with medical disabilities and then follow it with a prayer for them. We have this freedom of prayer that should be taken advantage of as much as possible. Our faith can be lost in being passive and I am so grateful for the gospel ending my spiritual starvation, as said by a recent canyon springs ward convert.

Before this, "new life" I did not know what was going to happen in my life. I still do not know what is going to happen in my life. But, I am not scared. I know that I am not alone and one day I will return to my heavenly father. One day I will have eternal life with my future spouse and children. And I pray everyday that the seed of Christ that I know is within each of my family members will grow, and we can all be together forever. I have the agency to choose the right.

and the wisdom is gone

teeth that is! Yesterday, I clocked into work a little bit early, and worked until 1. As soon as 1 o'clock hit, I changed into some comfy clothes and it was my turn in the chair. I work for an oral surgeon so lucky for me I was able to have him remove my two wisdom teeth and also perform a lingual frenectomy. So basically what they did was snip the attachment underneath my tongue since it was attached toward the front. Now, after everything is all healed up, I should be able to stick my tongue out of my mouth like a normal person haha.

I am currently not in too much pain, thanks to the medicine. I also feel as if my tongue is the most ginormous thing ever and taking up my entire mouth lol. So there is not too much to say about this weekend except is is being spent on the couch, in my bed, and on the couch some more. Although, I am getting some things done like cleaning the kitchen and laundry. Minus the fact that I get winded easily and sit down after each task.

On thursday evening me and Haley accomplished 4 miles! That was a really great feeling, accomplishment aww. Will keep y'all posted! Hopefully everything starts healing correctly and quickly :)

chipmunk.

possibilities are endlesssss

You never really know what you are capable until you try! When I was a junior in high school I would run, all the time. After high school, not really at all. I am making the attempt to get back into running, it is just hard to motivate yourself! After work today I went running with Haley and we accomplished 3.6 miles. Let me repeat that, 3.6 miles! It is the best feeling to know that you weren't sure you would be able to do it, and you did. I even felt as if I could run another mile once I stopped. Actually, I am tempted to go to the gym, but I would rather not wear myself out since we are going to try a different route that is 4 tomorrow. If we can run this far and we are just starting, imagine what we will be able to do in a month. I am going to start looking up 10k after this blog post haha...

I am so grateful for my physical body and health. I am thankful for the family and friends that I am surrounded by. I am in awe of the happiness that comes from having the spirit in your life.

curse you emotions and thoughts!

Aren't there those moments we all hate when you are trying your very best to not think about something and every single thing you come across constantly reminds you of it?! Curse you emotions and thoughts! You are causing me to allow myself to wallow inside of my brain. That is exactly the opposite of what I am trying to do.

The force of the world is not on my side today! I try to eat healthy and what does my dad do? Come home with pizza AND breadsticks. I try to not think about someone and what do I come across while I am studying the bible? That name. What a comical sense of humor someone is playing on me haha.

growing old and wrinkly

I feel like my childhood is gone for-ev-er! I get up and go to work, lately 4 or 5 days a week. I get home and I take a seat in my bed that gradually turns into a laying position. Once I am in that position, my eyes tend to get heavy and a nap draws more and more near. And then abruptly, I am woken up to Lily in need of a walk.

My days are full of lists. Lists of things to do, lists of places to call during my lunch break, lists of bills to pay. I love my lists and I enjoy being organized and writing them, but when you really think about it, lists are for old people haha. Lists are meant for people who can't remember what needs to be done, my forgetfulness is already making its way into my life!

Today, I found myself bringing home a 'Newsweek' magazine from work so that I could read through it. Since when do I read newsweek?!

However, I do enjoy putting my twist on things in life. I don't think my childish tendencies will ever fade away, they are a part of who I am. I find joy in the little things... glowsticks, skip its, mismatching socks or really cool matching ones. My nerdy and ridiculously dorky sense of childish humor. So, I guess growing up isn't all that bad. I just hope to find that one person who can share that adult childish humor with me :) Cheers to the little things in life and happiness and humor in even the more complex. Ciao!

Have a "beary" good week!

What are we doing here?

What are we doing here? As in, here on earth and how did we get here? I always had those questions when I was younger and I couldn't quite formulate them into exactly what I wanted to know. I now know we are here to find our way back to our heavenly father. I am aware that God didn't just drop us here on this place called earth to go roam and do whatever the heck we want. There had to be a purpose.

However, along the way there are all those worldly things we have to deal with. Not all are bad, some are good. This week I was carless because I sold my scion and I just didn't expect to sell it that fast! I felt as if I was 16 again, calling my mom to pick me up from places. It wasn't bad though, deep down inside I kind of enjoyed it haha. Also, I am super blessed to have my dog lily. I know I can probably go on and on about her forever, but seriously, she is the best dog you could ever ask for. Minus a couple things... waking up to her on your chest at 630am, how does a dog like to wake up that early? Occasionally pooping in the living room haha, my dad doesn't find that one funny. She brings sun where the sun don't shine though :)

I officially was denied from BYU - Provo after a month of waiting. A month isn't very long, but the denial is what hurts. Haha but it's not something I expected so it made it a little bit easier. I just know that there is a plan for me and maybe at that school its just not there. Even though I will be applying again... lol.  Alright, after procrastinating I need to get up and ready for church. There are two farewell talks I will listen to today and I really am excited for them. Missionary work changed my life! :)

my new ride!

the sunshine in my life :)

literature: S

I enjoy adding new words to my daily vocabulary. Lately, I have fallen into love with two words and I thought I would share them with you to help expand your vocab as well! Weird coincidence they both start with an, "S"


Suffice - 
1. Be enough or adequate.

2. Meet the needs of.

Succor -

 1. Assistance and support in times of hardship and distress

Also, a certain someones name starts with an S, weird coincidence? maybe, or maybe I have an attraction to "S's" haha kidding, I am not that crazy. Promise. 

annnnd picture of the day IS:

Salt Lake Temple

it's better to look up

This weekend I was looking up and looking down! The older I get, the shorter my fuse and tollerance for some people are haha.

Me, Phil, Shelby, Kelsey and Lianna started our thursday off with a 9 hour drive to my future home, Provo, Utah. The drive there was full of laughter and lots and lots of singing. Regardless of us not having an auxillary cord or cd player! We brought back the childish games of MASH and True Love and couldn't hold in the laughter. Knowing your future life sprawled out onto the pages of crinkled notebook paper, what could be better? I didn't sleep much on the ride, but when I did I awoke to opera singing from Lianna. Lets just say we had some talent in the car haha.

For the life of me, I can't figure out what exactly we did on thursday night when we arrived. We stayed at Jessica and Vanessa Campbells aparment and they were so sweet to let us stay there. Before bed time we slowly started to realize all these little army men around the apartment. Hanging from the clock, on top of the picture, looking down from the door frame. Pretty funny stuff.

Friday was the first full day that we had. We spent it waking up to some cinnamon toast crunch and then playing some basketball if I can recall the order of activities. A little bit later we went to Provo Rock Canyon and hiked/more like walked around. But I love to be anywhere that is outside, trees and flowers and the sky and stars just make me happy. Jumping to last night while we were driving home, I could probably stare out the window at the stars for hours. They were just so beautiful.

Anyway, after the hike we went and played some bball and then showered and got dressed for the night. We didn't really have anything to do so the boys picked up the couch from their apartment and put it on the patio. Phil and Dallin went to the store to get cards and came back with a pumpkin. They did good! This pumpkin was a huge 30 pounder with plenty of pumpkin guts. What went from a couple pumpkin seeds flung, turned out into a war. I got slammed in the face with a big pile of guts and shelby somehow ended up with some in her mouth. Carriage cove was colored in pumpkin guts, because for over an hour me, Shelby, Phil and Sam were running around bombarding eachother with handfulls of nastiness. But it couldn't have been more fun... haha.  Later that night was able to hang out with Katelyn and Anthony, meet a couple new people who were pretty cool and go to this big dance party. Who knew mormons partied like that? Awkward and funny lol.

And then Saturday came, conference! Woke up and slowly got ready while watching the saturday morning session. Left around 12 and got the the conference center. It was amazing how close we got sit and it was just a great experience in general. When I dig out my notes notebook out of my luggage, I will have to write a blog about things I learned. Walking past the Salt Lake Temple was beautiful. I can't even imagine who wouldn't want to get married there. Me and my favorite boy in front of the temple. 

As the night came to a close everyone was pretty exhausted. Most of us split up and went separate place, but a couple of us just stayed in and watched a movie which was nice. Got back to the apartment around 3am. Luckily, sunday session was a day spent in pajamas with friends listening to the prophet. Thomas S. Monson gave a great talk, along with one that made us all laugh. Later, Sam and I went over to Kelli's to visit. The next time I am there I will be moving in! I am beyond excited, I need these next 2 months to fly by and for everything with school to fall in place. Life is good! 

a marked pathway

"The gospel of Jesus Christ is not an obligation; it is a pathway, marked by our loving Father in Heaven, leading to happiness and peace in this life and glory and inexpressible fulfillment in the life to come. The gospel is a light that penetrates mortality and illuminates the way before us." 

—President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

No way to better say it! As soon as I heard those first words about the gospel not being an obligation, but being a pathway marked by our Father in Heaven, I felt that wonderful and fulfilling spirit of the Holy Ghost. Those words are more than truth, they just are. 

This past week has been a bit of a blur, I cannot really recall everything that I did. I have been focused on being a happy person lately and I am! I decided to put my car up for sale on Thursday and the first and only person to call about it has purchased it, unbelievable. And for the price that I am more than happy to sell it for. Now for all the loan and mumbo jumbo junk, what a headache. I will be excited to see what kind of vehicle I end up with, but for now, I am carless. I will be hitching rides left and right! kidding. When I said goodbye to my car today, it felt unreal. Can I honestly have feelings toward a car? loving feelings? 

Last glimpse of the first vehicle I purchased and had my name on that I just signed away. Moving on, so after I was done saying farewell to my dear car, my mother and I took my precious baby Lily on a walk around the neighborhood. I enjoy walks and I enjoy nature. About 10 minutes ago, I got the sudden urge that I want to plant a tree. There is just one problem, where? I will have to do some future planning on that one. I did come across a sunflower though, and as the sun was going down the light was hitting it at just the right angle. 

Just a reminder, that life is beautiful. Life is what you make it. You can choose happiness, you have decisions to make. Listening to the testimonies that were spoken on Sunday during sacrament always helps to strengthen mine. Certain ones just reach and touch my heart on a different level. God is good. 

College? or my dog?

okay okay, this blog was a little bit emotion packed and I said some things that I shouldn't have, so I felt as if I needed to change what this blog said, instead this while be a blog dedicated to the love of my life LILY. The only one who is ALWAYS there for me no matter what :) I love her more than life!

this bedroom isn't my room, its HER room.