some days you don't know whether to laugh or cry. how about both? the uncertainty of everything going on in your life at times feels like too much. then you get slapped over the head with a big dose of heart breaking reality. things aren't perfect. no way, really.

i have so many things to be grateful for and that is what i need to focus on. but how am i supposed to do that when your heart hurts. yes, i am a girl. yes, my heart really hurts. im sure fellow girls can feel my pain that when your heart hurts, you can't think about anything else. it's hard to be happy about all the good things going on in your life. did i buy a plane ticket to NY for november? yup. did i get accepted to the University of Utah? yup.

my heart hurts. its not anybody's fault but my own, i knew it would happen from the beginning. im too old for this.

(i am aware i did not capitalize pretty much anything in this post and my grammar sucks. but here at my pity party i am going to throw a big fat 'i don't care')

oh momma.

Today Fran posts a picture on Instagram of my mother. Saying how she is taking her out to lunch for the first time. She probably just received her first paycheck from Rubios. Anyway, I comment saying, "tell mom I love her!" and other people comment on how great she is as well. I check back in an hour later to that same picture and Fran posts, "she said she loves all her fans xoxo"....lol

Haha how can you not love my mom?! You grow up and realize that that lady is your best friend and knows everything about you. Can make you laugh any time even if it is over social media sites. Point is, I miss my mom :)

Houston we have a problem! Mayday Mayday.

no pun intended.

Sometimes you have no idea what is going on in your heart. I was pretty sure that I was in tune with my feelings, but then out of nowhere I am lost. Jokes on me! Haha. Guess the only solution to this problem is waiting it out, time is everything.

Just finished playing four-square, actually nine-square (a large group of people stretched that one out)! Bringing back to my childhood, I like it.

I feel like I am all over the place today, not just in this blog post. My brain, my heart, my health. Definitely not making any sense. Saw this today and loved it...

Today was a day of happiness! I felt incredibly grateful for the vacation I had this past weekend and the friends that surrounded me. I thought I would dread the work day ahead of me when I stepped outside this morning and it was cold enough for me to turn on the heater in my car. Luckily, I have amazing co-workers and we all keep each other sane and laughing... most of the time haha. Even though I was lazy, it felt great to run at the gym. Hopefully get rid of all that junk food I ate throughout the weekend, no regrets on that, it was oh so good. Skyped with my best friend from home Erin, for a good hour. Definitely put a smile on my face. Took my laptop in the bathroom with me while I showered. It was a perfect night for a good sing-a-long. Prayed, read my scriptures and got exactly what I needed out of them. I am blessed more than I will ever be able to realize. Goodnight y'all.