some days you don't know whether to laugh or cry. how about both? the uncertainty of everything going on in your life at times feels like too much. then you get slapped over the head with a big dose of heart breaking reality. things aren't perfect. no way, really.

i have so many things to be grateful for and that is what i need to focus on. but how am i supposed to do that when your heart hurts. yes, i am a girl. yes, my heart really hurts. im sure fellow girls can feel my pain that when your heart hurts, you can't think about anything else. it's hard to be happy about all the good things going on in your life. did i buy a plane ticket to NY for november? yup. did i get accepted to the University of Utah? yup.

my heart hurts. its not anybody's fault but my own, i knew it would happen from the beginning. im too old for this.

(i am aware i did not capitalize pretty much anything in this post and my grammar sucks. but here at my pity party i am going to throw a big fat 'i don't care')