curse you emotions and thoughts!

Aren't there those moments we all hate when you are trying your very best to not think about something and every single thing you come across constantly reminds you of it?! Curse you emotions and thoughts! You are causing me to allow myself to wallow inside of my brain. That is exactly the opposite of what I am trying to do.

The force of the world is not on my side today! I try to eat healthy and what does my dad do? Come home with pizza AND breadsticks. I try to not think about someone and what do I come across while I am studying the bible? That name. What a comical sense of humor someone is playing on me haha.

growing old and wrinkly

I feel like my childhood is gone for-ev-er! I get up and go to work, lately 4 or 5 days a week. I get home and I take a seat in my bed that gradually turns into a laying position. Once I am in that position, my eyes tend to get heavy and a nap draws more and more near. And then abruptly, I am woken up to Lily in need of a walk.

My days are full of lists. Lists of things to do, lists of places to call during my lunch break, lists of bills to pay. I love my lists and I enjoy being organized and writing them, but when you really think about it, lists are for old people haha. Lists are meant for people who can't remember what needs to be done, my forgetfulness is already making its way into my life!

Today, I found myself bringing home a 'Newsweek' magazine from work so that I could read through it. Since when do I read newsweek?!

However, I do enjoy putting my twist on things in life. I don't think my childish tendencies will ever fade away, they are a part of who I am. I find joy in the little things... glowsticks, skip its, mismatching socks or really cool matching ones. My nerdy and ridiculously dorky sense of childish humor. So, I guess growing up isn't all that bad. I just hope to find that one person who can share that adult childish humor with me :) Cheers to the little things in life and happiness and humor in even the more complex. Ciao!

Have a "beary" good week!

What are we doing here?

What are we doing here? As in, here on earth and how did we get here? I always had those questions when I was younger and I couldn't quite formulate them into exactly what I wanted to know. I now know we are here to find our way back to our heavenly father. I am aware that God didn't just drop us here on this place called earth to go roam and do whatever the heck we want. There had to be a purpose.

However, along the way there are all those worldly things we have to deal with. Not all are bad, some are good. This week I was carless because I sold my scion and I just didn't expect to sell it that fast! I felt as if I was 16 again, calling my mom to pick me up from places. It wasn't bad though, deep down inside I kind of enjoyed it haha. Also, I am super blessed to have my dog lily. I know I can probably go on and on about her forever, but seriously, she is the best dog you could ever ask for. Minus a couple things... waking up to her on your chest at 630am, how does a dog like to wake up that early? Occasionally pooping in the living room haha, my dad doesn't find that one funny. She brings sun where the sun don't shine though :)

I officially was denied from BYU - Provo after a month of waiting. A month isn't very long, but the denial is what hurts. Haha but it's not something I expected so it made it a little bit easier. I just know that there is a plan for me and maybe at that school its just not there. Even though I will be applying again... lol.  Alright, after procrastinating I need to get up and ready for church. There are two farewell talks I will listen to today and I really am excited for them. Missionary work changed my life! :)

my new ride!

the sunshine in my life :)

literature: S

I enjoy adding new words to my daily vocabulary. Lately, I have fallen into love with two words and I thought I would share them with you to help expand your vocab as well! Weird coincidence they both start with an, "S"


Suffice - 
1. Be enough or adequate.

2. Meet the needs of.

Succor -

 1. Assistance and support in times of hardship and distress

Also, a certain someones name starts with an S, weird coincidence? maybe, or maybe I have an attraction to "S's" haha kidding, I am not that crazy. Promise. 

annnnd picture of the day IS:

Salt Lake Temple

it's better to look up

This weekend I was looking up and looking down! The older I get, the shorter my fuse and tollerance for some people are haha.

Me, Phil, Shelby, Kelsey and Lianna started our thursday off with a 9 hour drive to my future home, Provo, Utah. The drive there was full of laughter and lots and lots of singing. Regardless of us not having an auxillary cord or cd player! We brought back the childish games of MASH and True Love and couldn't hold in the laughter. Knowing your future life sprawled out onto the pages of crinkled notebook paper, what could be better? I didn't sleep much on the ride, but when I did I awoke to opera singing from Lianna. Lets just say we had some talent in the car haha.

For the life of me, I can't figure out what exactly we did on thursday night when we arrived. We stayed at Jessica and Vanessa Campbells aparment and they were so sweet to let us stay there. Before bed time we slowly started to realize all these little army men around the apartment. Hanging from the clock, on top of the picture, looking down from the door frame. Pretty funny stuff.

Friday was the first full day that we had. We spent it waking up to some cinnamon toast crunch and then playing some basketball if I can recall the order of activities. A little bit later we went to Provo Rock Canyon and hiked/more like walked around. But I love to be anywhere that is outside, trees and flowers and the sky and stars just make me happy. Jumping to last night while we were driving home, I could probably stare out the window at the stars for hours. They were just so beautiful.

Anyway, after the hike we went and played some bball and then showered and got dressed for the night. We didn't really have anything to do so the boys picked up the couch from their apartment and put it on the patio. Phil and Dallin went to the store to get cards and came back with a pumpkin. They did good! This pumpkin was a huge 30 pounder with plenty of pumpkin guts. What went from a couple pumpkin seeds flung, turned out into a war. I got slammed in the face with a big pile of guts and shelby somehow ended up with some in her mouth. Carriage cove was colored in pumpkin guts, because for over an hour me, Shelby, Phil and Sam were running around bombarding eachother with handfulls of nastiness. But it couldn't have been more fun... haha.  Later that night was able to hang out with Katelyn and Anthony, meet a couple new people who were pretty cool and go to this big dance party. Who knew mormons partied like that? Awkward and funny lol.

And then Saturday came, conference! Woke up and slowly got ready while watching the saturday morning session. Left around 12 and got the the conference center. It was amazing how close we got sit and it was just a great experience in general. When I dig out my notes notebook out of my luggage, I will have to write a blog about things I learned. Walking past the Salt Lake Temple was beautiful. I can't even imagine who wouldn't want to get married there. Me and my favorite boy in front of the temple. 

As the night came to a close everyone was pretty exhausted. Most of us split up and went separate place, but a couple of us just stayed in and watched a movie which was nice. Got back to the apartment around 3am. Luckily, sunday session was a day spent in pajamas with friends listening to the prophet. Thomas S. Monson gave a great talk, along with one that made us all laugh. Later, Sam and I went over to Kelli's to visit. The next time I am there I will be moving in! I am beyond excited, I need these next 2 months to fly by and for everything with school to fall in place. Life is good! 

a marked pathway

"The gospel of Jesus Christ is not an obligation; it is a pathway, marked by our loving Father in Heaven, leading to happiness and peace in this life and glory and inexpressible fulfillment in the life to come. The gospel is a light that penetrates mortality and illuminates the way before us." 

—President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

No way to better say it! As soon as I heard those first words about the gospel not being an obligation, but being a pathway marked by our Father in Heaven, I felt that wonderful and fulfilling spirit of the Holy Ghost. Those words are more than truth, they just are. 

This past week has been a bit of a blur, I cannot really recall everything that I did. I have been focused on being a happy person lately and I am! I decided to put my car up for sale on Thursday and the first and only person to call about it has purchased it, unbelievable. And for the price that I am more than happy to sell it for. Now for all the loan and mumbo jumbo junk, what a headache. I will be excited to see what kind of vehicle I end up with, but for now, I am carless. I will be hitching rides left and right! kidding. When I said goodbye to my car today, it felt unreal. Can I honestly have feelings toward a car? loving feelings? 

Last glimpse of the first vehicle I purchased and had my name on that I just signed away. Moving on, so after I was done saying farewell to my dear car, my mother and I took my precious baby Lily on a walk around the neighborhood. I enjoy walks and I enjoy nature. About 10 minutes ago, I got the sudden urge that I want to plant a tree. There is just one problem, where? I will have to do some future planning on that one. I did come across a sunflower though, and as the sun was going down the light was hitting it at just the right angle. 

Just a reminder, that life is beautiful. Life is what you make it. You can choose happiness, you have decisions to make. Listening to the testimonies that were spoken on Sunday during sacrament always helps to strengthen mine. Certain ones just reach and touch my heart on a different level. God is good. 

College? or my dog?

okay okay, this blog was a little bit emotion packed and I said some things that I shouldn't have, so I felt as if I needed to change what this blog said, instead this while be a blog dedicated to the love of my life LILY. The only one who is ALWAYS there for me no matter what :) I love her more than life!

this bedroom isn't my room, its HER room.