Okay guys

I had an epiphany last night. I haven't checked if I am using that word in the right context, but anyway... I was laying in bed wasting away some time before I actually got sleepy. Thoughts were jumbled in my head, ranging from what I would do tomorrow, to what is in store for me this next year. Not to jump the gun, but I think I realized it. It definitely has to do with continuing my education, but where oh where would this take place? I had really good vibes when I thought about a certain school so I am going to pursue it and see what happens. I am more than excited about this and I am hoping it works out the way that I feel it will. Bon voyage Provo? Haha tune in and see.

It's a quarter after 6am

Actually it isn't anymore, but it was the time me and Alise left Provo this morning to head to Salt Lake. That city excites me, all the different things to do that I don't even know about yet. At the same time I think it somewhat appeals to me because it IS a city and it is not as dirty as LA.  Nonetheless, late last night we decided we were going to jump in on the 5k Pioneer Day (Utah state holiday) run that started at the Energy Solutions Arena (where the Utah Jazz play).

To my surprise, we both got up and made it there just in time for the race to start. Running through streets that are so unfamiliar, but at the same time so full of interesting sights. I couldn't help but laugh like a little school girl and smile while running with this large group of people that varied in ages. The sun was shining through the clouds and the temperature was perfect. At first I thought someone had spit on me, but quickly realized that it had started raining. In that moment, I felt happier than I have been in a long time. There is something about being outside and running in the rain that went deeper then what my body was physically doing.

Today is Pioneer Day, a Utah state holiday. My first instincts were to be like, "yes! an unexpected paid day off." And don't get me wrong, I still feel that way, but it is more than that. I know of few pioneer stories, but I know what it is like to do something hard when you don't know what the outcome will be. To make a move alone and trust that you are making the right decision.

Things are changing in my life again and I am excited and scared at the same time :)

Can you paint with all the colors of the wind...

Yes, we are watching Pocahontas on a saturday night and I have no problem with that. This movie makes me want to start a Disney movie marathon! Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Lion King, etc... What could be better?

Today my dad posted a picture of my brother in his marines uniform. For anyone that doesn't know, I moved here in January and haven't seen him since. He left earlier then we thought for bootcamp and I wasn't able to make it home in time. I am SO proud of him! I think about all of the things he has probably been put through and they tug at my heart strings. My little brother who grew up in a house full of girls, the little boy who was constantly picked on by his older sisters. In less than two weeks time, we get to see him graduate!

There is nothing like family and I have realized that more and more as I have gotten older and moved to a different state. Man I love them :)

17 year old self

For some reason last night a certain thought popped into my head. If I could tell my 17 year old self advice for the future and things to come, what would it be?

If I could tell my 17 year old self...

I would say not to buy a car.
I would say it is okay to be alone.
I would say it is not okay to drink.
I would say to strive to live a righteous and virtuous life.
I would say focus on your goals.
I would say be happy and don't sweat the small stuff.
I would say work hard.

But more than that I would have never in a million years guessed where I would be today. I wouldn't know that I would turn my life completely towards Christ and that that would be the best decision I could ever make for my self. I would not have guessed that the first time I moved out of my parents house that it would be to another state. I wish I could have told myself to focus on things that matter like faith and family and education. I wouldn't know that I would get engaged and break it off. And although those tough times and mistakes have happened, I know that they have taught me extremely valuable lessons. Lessons that I would have never gotten any other way.

Sometimes when I scroll through my facebook feed, I think, "what a stupid person," or "what a stupid thing to say." Then I have to remind myself that I was one of those people at a point in my life. I too was lost, didn't completely understand morals and certain mannerisms. There is no reason I should even for a second judge other people, and that is exactly what I am going to work on. No one is perfect, everybody just needs to be given the chance to accept the truth. I hope that I can be an example to people at home, that real happiness comes from the gospel, and living righteous ways.

stagecoach

Am I sad that I haven't gone to stagecoach the past two years? Not at all.
Am I sad that I didn't get wasted and make numerous stupid mistakes? Definitely not.
Do the pictures that everyone who attended is putting up online make me jealous? Not in the slightest.

I am so happy for the gospel and the joy it has brought to my life! I would never trade that for anything. I am grateful for the guidance and deep deep happiness that it has allowed me to feel. I love my relationship with our Heavenly Father. It makes me sad to know that at one time I was unaware of this, and that people I strongly care about are still unaware. I just pray and hope that I can set an example. I pray that the blessings and the improved quality of my life can be seen by all and that I can open them even in the littlest bit to the truth.

... I was pretty happy at home, in Utah, sober as can be, loving and appreciating this life :)

I don't think I could ever keep track of all the thoughts that go through my head in a single day. I woke up this morning from a nightmare that someone was trying to kill me. What kind of thought is that? Sleepily I jumped out of bed to get ready for work. I always feel slightly bad that I turn on a light in mine and Ingrids room around 6:45 am everyday. Rise and shine to her too haha, I see her roll over and pull her blanket over her head.

This past saturday Brian and I went and played outside. Two of my favorite things, outside and Brian haha. When you can enjoy someones company while doing nothing but entertaining one another, you know it's good. Sunday came and went and was a day that I reflected on a lot of things. I am so blessed, seriously! I can not reiterate that enough. The unique and countless ways that Heavenly Father shows himself in my life is beyond amazing.

After our outdoor adventure of Saturday, we babysat Brians nephews. In little Lincolns room there is a baby monitor (obviously), but it has a screen. As he was in the there calming him down and pretty much lulling him into a sleep, I sappily watched the monitor from the kitchen. Could he make my heart melt anymore? I quickly positioned myself on the other side of the kitchen, as far from the monitor as possible as soon as I noticed he was leaving the room. If you ever read this Brian, sorry I was being a creeper haha. 

I also watched How To Train Your Dragon for the first time... needless to say, I loved it.