this season

Somehow I got caught up/lost in how much I hate this town, and started forgetting some of the most important reasons for this season.

I feel at so much peace when I am snuggling on the couch in our living room, face lit up from the light of our christmas tree. Just laying and listening to the buzz of my family roaming around upstairs getting ready for bed, while I pull out my scriptures and read. 

FAMILY. That's what it's all about. I am in my home. I am so grateful to be here! 

an internal debate

So is it gray or grey?

That has always bugged me, especially since it is one of my favorite colors. I always tend to gravitate towards gray sweatshirts, grey pants, gray sheets (we will touch on that later). If you hadn't noticed, I never know which to use so I just switch it up :)

As I scourged the internet for an answer to my unanswered question, I found nothing. All I found was that it is a preference. Why can't you just tell me which to prefer?!

What sparked this debate in my mind once again you ask? Well let me tell you...

Yesterday morning I was doing some last minute shopping, at Target. I came across some amazing looking flannel sheets. They were gray. They were on clearance. I pretty much thought it was a done deal. As I quickly threw them into my basket I was happy. And then I realized I was supposed to be shopping for other people, not myself! So I unselfishly gave them up and put them back.

Not a big deal right? You wouldn't think that it would affect my day, but nope. A little bit later I was on the phone with Becky and I told her about not ending up buying the sheets. I said to her, why was I thinking of wasting money on sheets (even though I loved them in all their solid gray glory) when...

1. I don't necessarily need them
2. Lets pray that I am not in a twin bed for long (twin bed = twin size sheets)
3. Lets pray that I am sharing an at least Queen sized bed with a husband in the not to distant future (Queen sized bed with future I dont know who that is husband = not realistic for grey twin sized sheets).
4. Oh yeah, and I was shopping for other people

Well enough of that. I've decided. For me, it will be...

gray

yes, that happened.

Ever had one of those days where everything is just off? Today was that day for me. Without a doubt. This girl right here.

It may have all started last night before bed. I was just in one of those negative nancy moods, which is no bueno. So I quickly read my scriptures, said my prayers and put on a movie to quickly fall asleep too. Needed out of that mind set stat.

So when I awoke this morning I felt at least a little bit better, did some shopping, packed for my trip home, etc. I started my trek to layton later in the afternoon, where my wonderful roommate Becky is from and the person who so graciously said yes to driving me to the airport. The drive proved uneventful yet satisfying. Every once in awhile a good thinking/singing/screaming my emotions out to T Swift sesh for an hour is therapeutic.

...5 minutes before I arrived to my destination I stopped at the gas station. Whats typical of me is to throw my debit card into my pocket until I get back into the car. What isn't typical is a gas station where you take out the pump and have to lift a lever underneath the machine to make it start. I blame that, it threw me off. It also caused me to throw my card on the ground and proceed to drive away.

Arriving at Beckys I realized it was missing. I just knew I had left it there. Driving back to check I didn't see it on the ground. However, when I checked with the lady inside, she said someone had turned it in. Ding! Ding! Ding! Good samaritan and great luck right there.

And onward. Laughing about that mishap I quickly said my goodbyes and merrily went on my way to the Jetblue line to check my bag. After a couple minutes of waiting around, I reached into my pocket for my phone... and it wasn't there. My heart sank, and I knew I had left it in the cup holder  in the car. This was the moment when I wish we still had to memorize peoples numbers, the only one I could think of was my moms! I called her from a randoms phone and told her to dial the shiz out of my phone until Becky answered. I kept my laptop on me and hopped onto the good ol FB and messaged Becky and Jason. Luckily, Jason was able to call Becky before it was too late and my phone was safely returned to its owner. What an angel Becky is for putting up with my shenanigans today.

A sigh of relief passed through me and I was homebound. I made it home and wanted to get stuff to make treats tomorrow. Took my mommas car the local Winco where they had NOTHING. Absolutely nothing that I needed. I ended up with imitation vanilla. What is that even? No hershey's hugs. No almond bark. No nothing that I needed. Oh, and it was a store full of rude people. Utah to California, big difference in friendliness. But I knew that.

Anyway, I promise I am not complaining. It was just one of those days. And thankfully, I am in my home with my family. Tomorrow is sunday. Sundays are always good. Goodnight world.

remember.

How did I get here? How did I get to this point in my life where I have such a deep relationship with our Heavenly Father and it only grows more and more everyday.

It's easy, yet difficult to remember my life without Him in it. The gospel changes lives. Everyday I am reminded of the comfort and happiness I have because of Him. I know that He is here for us in times of trial and in times of joy.

Sitting here in my small cozy apartment, lights off, face lit up by my computer screen, I am happy. I can let the complaints of wants come out of my mouth all day long (which Im working on quitting), but at the end of it, I am blessed. So blessed for everything in my life.

Earlier this year when I moved here to Utah, I made a vow to write in my journal often. Now maybe I haven't been as good about it as I would have liked, but it has been a gift. I can look back on this past years experiences and see the progress I have made. I can see clear links to trials I have had, and specific blessings that have come from it. I can see the faith that has grown and my dependence on Him. I am so happy. I have such an internal happiness and comfort that I know is a gift.

I now understand why LDS members try and share the gospel so much. As an outsider, you think to yourself, what is their deal? They are so annoying. Why do they want to keep talking Jesus this and Jesus that church stuff to me? I GET IT NOW. I have never known such a greater joy in my life. I know exactly where it comes from. I want these things more than anything for my family and friends.

I'm not exactly sure where I am going with this post, but what I do know is that I love our Savior. Being away from my family has taught me how great they are, and my love and appreciation for them has grown. This month I really want to strive to serve others, and let those people that are near and dear to me know that that is how I feel. That they are so important to me, and that I cherish them so much. I am grateful for the examples of people surrounding me, especially my roommates. I love the temple and that I get to drive past it every morning on my way to work.

Throughout the Book of Mormon, it says to REMEMBER. That word has been one of the best things for me. I sit down everyday and focus on remembering that He loves us. He knows us. He is there for us always. He has a personal plan for each of us. I have so many blessings because of him. I am loved.

spiritual high

I have been on such a spiritual high this week.

While sitting in my oh so comfy middle seat on the airplane, I was falling in and out of sleep. My thought processes were flowing. Our flight home was delayed a couple of hours and I began complaining.

...I am going to be so tired for work tomorrow, ugh.
...I will have so much to catch up on, ugh.
...I feel fat from eating like a crazy person this weekend, ugh.
...and so on, ugh.

Snapping me out of this limbo sleeping state was an announcement from the pilot. As soon as I quickly disregarded whatever he was saying, I realized what had been going through my mind. I was complaining. A lot. I feel like that is a weakness of mine because I am really good at it haha. This time it was different though, it was like something zapped me and awoke me from this state of selfishness and ungratefulness.

I just had an amazing trip to New York where I was able to travel with my roommate and spend time with my best friend from elementary school. I was able to see sites that I have only ever heard about and view other peoples lifestyles. Central Park was beautiful, Times Square was a mecca of people, the subway systems were unreal. I ate and ate my little heart out trying new things and it made me happy. I then was able to return home to a job and a roof over my head.

In that moment I vowed to make a conscious effort this week to not complain, but to be optimistic and positive. This has led me to reading more of the scriptures and talks from the Ensign. It has made me so happy! There is no greater happiness than directing your life towards Christ.

With a few slips here and there, I have done better at straying my thoughts from complaints. I really find the need to serve right now, so I am looking into hopefully finding some things especially around the holidays. I am grateful to have my family at home who is always so supportive and that I can feel their love even from a distance. I am grateful for my Utah family and my roommates, and the amazing examples they set.

It's funny how the mind works. Its so wonderful how strongly you can feel the spirit when you are on the right path. I love that we are able to communicate with our Heavenly Father whenever and wherever. I am grateful that we have the scriptures and living prophets today to help guide us! All we need to do is make the effort and reach out to them because they are there, always. Here are some things that have really helped me throughout this week.

Red Eye Night

I went to New York last week. It was awesome.

Since so much was seen and filled this little mind of mine to the brim, I think I am going to do, day by day posts.

It all started with the venture to the SLC Airport. Upon arriving, checking our bags, going through security (where Becky was yelled at for standing on the yellow feet thing wrong) we ran into some people we knew! Which was a surprise since our flight left at 11:30 PM. Luckily, her friend Cole has family in NY and knew his way around because we would have been chopped liver trying to figure out the air train and subway system. Probably would have taken us hours and hours to get to Marys! Note: subway rats are real, and you actually need to hold onto the subways poles...or. else. you. will. fall.

So the entire flight, neither of us slept. I took the window seat (which I absolutely love) and Becky had the middle next to a guy with bad breath. By the time we arrived in Brooklyn we were exhausted! We quickly took a 2 hour nap (thats enough time right?) and made our way to downtown Manhattan. There was some damage from Hurricane Sandy and a lot of the building were still being drained of water. Credit card machines didn't work either, so we quickly realized we wouldn't be buying anything.

Just walking around New York and exploring was a dream. You can turn any corner and find a new world. I probably walked a jillion miles throughout my trip, but me eating like a fat kid the entire kid probably balanced it out.

Somehow we wandered to the Hudson River which was beautiful. Never been to New Jersey but now I have seen it from a distance! Could see lady Liberty too. The walk along going towards upstate was beautiful. To the left was the River and to the right I passed countless basketball courts with kids playing.

After touring part of NYU's campus (the school that Mary goes to), we made our way home and called it an early night. A full nights sleep was in order.

***Side note: this trip was all because of my first best friend in elementary school. Mary and I have been friends for almost 20 years now! And I know that is a lifelong friendship because we have always kept in contact no matter the distance between us. Us California girls now living in New York and Utah. I was so ecstatic to spend some time with her and so grateful that she let us visit and stay with her. Even sleep in her bed (which is huge).

my election post.

President Obama was re-elected and I don't know what is going to be the result of that. All I can hope is for a turn around for our country.

I am not huge into politics and therefore I don't argue back and forth with people, but this did leave a weird pit of a feeling in my stomach. I can't stop reading all the posts and opinons of people in relation to the election. It's like crack and is keeping me from sleeping.

That is all for now.