Day TWO in Cali

So I skipped day one, but lets just say it was full of a dental appointment, hair appointment, flash flood, etc.

And here I am at the end of day two. It's been sort of rough, I have let my emotions get the best of me. I woke up with a horrible headache, probably because I slept too long. Got dressed and headed the the Wild Animal Park here in San Diego with my family. I stepped outside and I was instantly dripping sweat. The weather was near a 100 and extremely humid.

I feel like you can only spend so much time there. It's not like you get too much interaction with the animals. So with the mixture of my mood and when boredom set in we left and made it to the beach. It was seriously beautiful, and we were at a perfect spot. I never wanted to leave, but everyone was hungry and so we made our way to this hole in the wall mexican restaurant. I miss those things.

It was still early enough in the day that I didn't want to go sit back at the condo. I had my dad drop me off by the pier where I planned to lay, read and ponder. My mom wanted to come so she napped next to me. I cant say enough how nice it was. It reminds of how much I love this earth and the amazing things that we have been given here. Just being outside and enjoying them brings me such happiness and peace. It was everything that I have been needing.

Upon my return to our place, I instantly grabbed the book I had bought at the airport and continued reading. I forgot how it feels to absolutely lose yourself in a book. It's the best when you want to escape the emotions you are trying to forget about.

Heres to hoping tomorrow is a great day and I wont let those things affect me.

Highland Park

In my new place, which is 3x the size of my last. In my own bedroom which is larger than my bedroom at my parents. Do I need this much space? Life, where are you taking me.

my brother.

I am feeling extra sensitive right now. I have known that my little brother was being sent to South Korea by the marine core, but now it is actually tomorrow. I probably should be more up to date on the current events of the world, but what I do know is that North Korea isn't happy and that can mean trouble for a lot of people. Which in turn, puts my brother in an unsafe area.

Sometimes he posts tons of selfies of himself and his body and I find happiness in making fun of that, but I love him. He has this, "tough guy" exterior and as annoying as it is sometimes, he always is looking out for his sisters. He cares deeply about the people around him and is proud to be serving our country. I admire his dedication.

As I kneeled down in prayer tonight, I felt the strongest spirit. I know that Heavenly Father will be watching over him and I am so grateful for that. I have been so blessed by my family and the love that we have for one another.

Can I just say that I had an awesome day? But more on that later...

Not to get all sappy and what not, but this really has been weighing on my mind! So here's the story... This past week I flew to California, it was awesome. I took the lonely ride on the airport tram to get back to my car. While on said tram, there was a couple sitting right across from me with a newborn child in the stroller. They were so flippin cute, the couple looked like they were in their early 30's. To be honest, they weren't the most physically attractive couple I ever have seen, but they loved each other. It just radiated from them. You could tell the husband adored his wife and child, they sat there and laughed and smiled with each other. In a non over the top, non creepy way. 

I want that. I can't wait to have that. For the most part, I could care less what my future spouse physically looks like. I want someone who will make me laugh, and just love me and out future family. I feel like relationships focus so much on the outward appearance. It should be completely inward. I am excited for the day when I meet someone whose soul is the completion of mine. I trust in Heavenly Father and his timing, I know that this will happen for me when the timing is right. 

Today was wonderful, that is all. 

Breathe In, Breath Out.

Taking a trip home can be like transporting to another world. I live in a place, where none of my family resides and it’s great. My roommates and friends in the ward are my family when I am away from home, and I have no complaints. I am allowed to be independent and do as I please. However, it is like a breath of fresh air to visit home every once in awhile.

This past week, I was able to take a couple days out of my schedule; more like cut a chunk out of my next paycheck, and fly back to California. It’s like recharging my batteries. It’s a place that is so familiar and the people you are surrounded with have grown up with you. There are no judgments passed inside my family’s home and I can just be myself 100%.

I feel rejuvenated and have a fresher more clear perspective on who I am and what I need to do. It’s nice. I am ready to go back to Utah, just maybe not work haha. This trip reminded me of how truly blessed I am, and I don’t think anyone can get enough reminders of that. Heavenly Father has given us this life, filled with trials and moments of joy. We are here to learn, and for that, I am appreciative. 

a tug that way, and a pull this way

There is in no way, we can know exactly what is going to happen next in our life. However, we can guide where we want to be.

This trip home opened my eyes a little more to the world. I live in a fairytale land in Provo. Now if you ever have lived there, you might understand it a little better. It is full of college students, with an air of safeness. I love that factor and I love that there are tons of people my age, who share the same faith. It is also kind of like an LDS dating mecca. No success there, but that's another blog post haha.

What I realized, and already knew, is that I wont be there forever. Probably another year, because for some reason I just have a deep pit of feeling that is where I need to be, then who knows. I miss the diversity though, it was like a breath of fresh air being home. Yeah, I was locking my car the very second I got out and turning around watching my back for someone who was going to rob me haha. But [people are so unique, everybody has a different life story. We, as members of the church have such an opportunity to help change peoples lives for the better with the Gospel. I think it is also a test for ourselves and our faith.

I decided, that if by fall of 2014, and nothing is holding me back, I am moving out of Provo. Life choices are scary, aren't they?

...I'm really good at rambling off topic if you couldnt tell haha

peanut butter cookies

It's tuesday night at 10 o'clock... PM. I just put a batch of peanut butter cookies in the oven and Becky is just finishing up her homemade cinnamon rolls as well. What is going on?

When did I ever think that I would be sitting in my apartment, late on a weekday night, baking? It's just a little bit funny. I have never classified myself as someone who would consider that a hobby. Is this something that single girls in their mid 20's find themselves doing? In that case, bring it on!

The thing about it, is that I actually enjoy it. Lately, I have been finding myself stressed and not as positive as normal. When I was still stranded in Moreno Valley, my hometown in California, my life consisted of going to work and coming home to my bed. It sounds normal, but not when you nap from 6-9 and then wake up for a few hours and take it back to the sheets til work began in the morning again. The reason that this was my routine is because I wasn't happy where I was.

So when I did that today, I awoke with an annoyance. I am so happy and I have so much to be grateful for! The sun is shining (as of late), I am on my own, my family and friends are amazing, etc. Which brings me back to baking.... at 10 PM.

I think as you get older, you learn things about yourself you were severely unaware of. Tonight I learned that baking releases stress. Being able to focus on a recipe, you kind of forget your worries. You're mind is working on creating something... DELICIOUS. So tonight it was peanut butter cookies. Mostly because I had all the ingredients at home and was already in sweats. There was no way you would get me to change out of these things and make the trek to Smiths. Which isn't a trek at all, just extremely high chances you will run into someone you know, someone attractive. It always happens at the worst moments.

Until next time...

PS. I burned my first batch, they are disgusting. Better luck on the next go around!