I don't think I could ever keep track of all the thoughts that go through my head in a single day. I woke up this morning from a nightmare that someone was trying to kill me. What kind of thought is that? Sleepily I jumped out of bed to get ready for work. I always feel slightly bad that I turn on a light in mine and Ingrids room around 6:45 am everyday. Rise and shine to her too haha, I see her roll over and pull her blanket over her head.

This past saturday Brian and I went and played outside. Two of my favorite things, outside and Brian haha. When you can enjoy someones company while doing nothing but entertaining one another, you know it's good. Sunday came and went and was a day that I reflected on a lot of things. I am so blessed, seriously! I can not reiterate that enough. The unique and countless ways that Heavenly Father shows himself in my life is beyond amazing.

After our outdoor adventure of Saturday, we babysat Brians nephews. In little Lincolns room there is a baby monitor (obviously), but it has a screen. As he was in the there calming him down and pretty much lulling him into a sleep, I sappily watched the monitor from the kitchen. Could he make my heart melt anymore? I quickly positioned myself on the other side of the kitchen, as far from the monitor as possible as soon as I noticed he was leaving the room. If you ever read this Brian, sorry I was being a creeper haha. 

I also watched How To Train Your Dragon for the first time... needless to say, I loved it.

Sitting in my apartment, at my table, surrounded by index cards, thinking about how blessed and grateful I truly am! Ever since I made the decision to join the church, my life has only gone in a positive direction. I have grown as a person for the better. I constantly I am considering ways that will not only improve myself, but improve others around me. I want to be the best me that I can be. I continually pray for guidance, and that is continually what I get.

Sometimes I consider how great everything is going for me and I am scared it is going to come to a screeching halt. Life is really that great right now. I have been blessed to be able to financially support myself, and live on my own in an entirely different state with no family around. My roommates have become my family. I have had some setbacks that allowed me to lean closer to my Heavenly Father and trust in Him instead of stressing out, and what did you know, something great and new came along to help me with them. I have had people put in my life here that put a smile on my face everyday and show me love. I have met a person who makes me want to be great for them and always strive to make them happy.

God is good. Life is good. I wish this knowledge for everyone.

The sense of smell

Is it weird that I love the, "smell" of things? I couldn't imagine my life without that sense. Actually, I couldn't imagine my life missing any of my senses but that is besides that point. Certain holidays have certain smells. As you walk into a house during christmas time, you take in that pine tree and cinnamon candle. You take a walk to the beach and breathe in the salty ocean and refreshing air. The sense of smell isn't just in places, it can be the food that your roommate cooks, luring you into the kitchen when you aren't even hungry. It can be the smell of a boy you like and the shirt that he left behind.

My point is, I love our ability to smell.

I have been here a month!

Life is good, oh so good. This week I feel like I have done a lot of reflecting on the past year. Who I was, who I am now, and who I want to become. I am so happy and blessed, the satisfaction I feel in my life right now is great. Everyday I wake up and I am excited for what it holds and the new adventures it brings! I am thankful for the apartment of people I live in, who constantly keep me laughing. I can't recall a single day I have been here, that hasn't caused me to cry and have a stomach cramp because of something funny somebody said.

Deciding to move away from home and to Provo has been the best decision I could have made for myself. To take myself out of an unhealthy surrounding and try to grow as a person somewhere completely different. I have grown and strengthened my relationship with God more than I can imagine. It gets stronger and stronger everyday and I am in awe of it. I continually pray that my family and friends can feel that love that our Heavenly Father has for us, and the realization of the church. Through all of it I have become a better and happier person. I can only pray and wish these things for everyone, and especially the people that I hold dear.

In this past month that I have been here, I have been able to experience things I had not done before and meet people that have made me feel at home. I have been able to be hired at a job that is run by good people. Yes, I miss my family at home and I insanely crazily miss Lily, but there is no doubt about this choice I have made. This blog is a little bit repetitive, but these things are all that I can think about.

mansion cabin in Park City with heated floors

paint war in SLC

Matt Costa concert at BYU

my drive home from work

walking around Sundance

BYU basketball game

Cloud 9

I am happier than I have ever been. Maybe not, but I do feel completely overcome with joy. Everything is just slowly working out and I know that I am supposed to be here. I took a leap and moved, leaving behind my dog, my family, my job and some friends with a whole bunch of uncertainty. I have made some great new friends and have found a job finally. I had faith and it worked out so far. I am excited to know what is in store for me.

So this is my life, and I am adjusting.

The winter snow hasn't set in and I have mixed feelings about it. I am ready to live in a snow globe, but I am not ready to drive in it haha. The drive from home to school is about 50 minutes and easy... for now. I just have this uneasy feeling and fear that I am going to be a horrible driver when those beautiful white fluffy things start falling from the sky and then my perfect driving record will be shot. Another thing that goes alone with driving here is the pedestrians. They are everywhere! They are walking across the street unnoticed at night in dark clothing, they are jogging around on every street and street corner. My car and their body, better never collide.

As part of this living on your own and growing up thing goes, I have found I am a horrible grocery shopper. I did some food buying today and ended up with nothing healthy except for two pears. My daily diet is consisting of fruit snacks, frozen dino chickens, chewy chips ahoy cookies and toast. Man, do I love my toast with the Grandma Sycamores bread here. And food costs money, and money comes from a job... that I don't have yet. There are some things that look promising coming along the way though, so praying for that :)

What I really love about this place is the faith and morals that most people living here have. These two things drive people to be better and to want to make something of themselves. The value of education is high. The desire to live in righteousness is great. The example that I receive here and can follow is extraordinary and something I would not get at home. It is something that I need. I am so excited for this journey :)

music

when music brings you comfort and happiness unexpectedly.

listen for sweet music to your ears.

thank you Ben Howard and The Lumineers for providing me with some great music before sleep.