Sometimes when I scroll through my facebook feed, I think, "what a stupid person," or "what a stupid thing to say." Then I have to remind myself that I was one of those people at a point in my life. I too was lost, didn't completely understand morals and certain mannerisms. There is no reason I should even for a second judge other people, and that is exactly what I am going to work on. No one is perfect, everybody just needs to be given the chance to accept the truth. I hope that I can be an example to people at home, that real happiness comes from the gospel, and living righteous ways.

stagecoach

Am I sad that I haven't gone to stagecoach the past two years? Not at all.
Am I sad that I didn't get wasted and make numerous stupid mistakes? Definitely not.
Do the pictures that everyone who attended is putting up online make me jealous? Not in the slightest.

I am so happy for the gospel and the joy it has brought to my life! I would never trade that for anything. I am grateful for the guidance and deep deep happiness that it has allowed me to feel. I love my relationship with our Heavenly Father. It makes me sad to know that at one time I was unaware of this, and that people I strongly care about are still unaware. I just pray and hope that I can set an example. I pray that the blessings and the improved quality of my life can be seen by all and that I can open them even in the littlest bit to the truth.

... I was pretty happy at home, in Utah, sober as can be, loving and appreciating this life :)

I don't think I could ever keep track of all the thoughts that go through my head in a single day. I woke up this morning from a nightmare that someone was trying to kill me. What kind of thought is that? Sleepily I jumped out of bed to get ready for work. I always feel slightly bad that I turn on a light in mine and Ingrids room around 6:45 am everyday. Rise and shine to her too haha, I see her roll over and pull her blanket over her head.

This past saturday Brian and I went and played outside. Two of my favorite things, outside and Brian haha. When you can enjoy someones company while doing nothing but entertaining one another, you know it's good. Sunday came and went and was a day that I reflected on a lot of things. I am so blessed, seriously! I can not reiterate that enough. The unique and countless ways that Heavenly Father shows himself in my life is beyond amazing.

After our outdoor adventure of Saturday, we babysat Brians nephews. In little Lincolns room there is a baby monitor (obviously), but it has a screen. As he was in the there calming him down and pretty much lulling him into a sleep, I sappily watched the monitor from the kitchen. Could he make my heart melt anymore? I quickly positioned myself on the other side of the kitchen, as far from the monitor as possible as soon as I noticed he was leaving the room. If you ever read this Brian, sorry I was being a creeper haha. 

I also watched How To Train Your Dragon for the first time... needless to say, I loved it.

Sitting in my apartment, at my table, surrounded by index cards, thinking about how blessed and grateful I truly am! Ever since I made the decision to join the church, my life has only gone in a positive direction. I have grown as a person for the better. I constantly I am considering ways that will not only improve myself, but improve others around me. I want to be the best me that I can be. I continually pray for guidance, and that is continually what I get.

Sometimes I consider how great everything is going for me and I am scared it is going to come to a screeching halt. Life is really that great right now. I have been blessed to be able to financially support myself, and live on my own in an entirely different state with no family around. My roommates have become my family. I have had some setbacks that allowed me to lean closer to my Heavenly Father and trust in Him instead of stressing out, and what did you know, something great and new came along to help me with them. I have had people put in my life here that put a smile on my face everyday and show me love. I have met a person who makes me want to be great for them and always strive to make them happy.

God is good. Life is good. I wish this knowledge for everyone.

The sense of smell

Is it weird that I love the, "smell" of things? I couldn't imagine my life without that sense. Actually, I couldn't imagine my life missing any of my senses but that is besides that point. Certain holidays have certain smells. As you walk into a house during christmas time, you take in that pine tree and cinnamon candle. You take a walk to the beach and breathe in the salty ocean and refreshing air. The sense of smell isn't just in places, it can be the food that your roommate cooks, luring you into the kitchen when you aren't even hungry. It can be the smell of a boy you like and the shirt that he left behind.

My point is, I love our ability to smell.

I have been here a month!

Life is good, oh so good. This week I feel like I have done a lot of reflecting on the past year. Who I was, who I am now, and who I want to become. I am so happy and blessed, the satisfaction I feel in my life right now is great. Everyday I wake up and I am excited for what it holds and the new adventures it brings! I am thankful for the apartment of people I live in, who constantly keep me laughing. I can't recall a single day I have been here, that hasn't caused me to cry and have a stomach cramp because of something funny somebody said.

Deciding to move away from home and to Provo has been the best decision I could have made for myself. To take myself out of an unhealthy surrounding and try to grow as a person somewhere completely different. I have grown and strengthened my relationship with God more than I can imagine. It gets stronger and stronger everyday and I am in awe of it. I continually pray that my family and friends can feel that love that our Heavenly Father has for us, and the realization of the church. Through all of it I have become a better and happier person. I can only pray and wish these things for everyone, and especially the people that I hold dear.

In this past month that I have been here, I have been able to experience things I had not done before and meet people that have made me feel at home. I have been able to be hired at a job that is run by good people. Yes, I miss my family at home and I insanely crazily miss Lily, but there is no doubt about this choice I have made. This blog is a little bit repetitive, but these things are all that I can think about.

mansion cabin in Park City with heated floors

paint war in SLC

Matt Costa concert at BYU

my drive home from work

walking around Sundance

BYU basketball game

Cloud 9

I am happier than I have ever been. Maybe not, but I do feel completely overcome with joy. Everything is just slowly working out and I know that I am supposed to be here. I took a leap and moved, leaving behind my dog, my family, my job and some friends with a whole bunch of uncertainty. I have made some great new friends and have found a job finally. I had faith and it worked out so far. I am excited to know what is in store for me.