the little things

Right when I am about to consider throwing myself a pity party, I am reminded of how much I am blessed! It's been one of those weeks where you don't understand why things are the way they are, and where to go from here. You are constantly trying to get it stuck in your head that, Heavenly Father has a plan, and we can't go off our timetable, but we need to go off his.

With that said, filling my time is top priority. Nobody likes wallowing in their self pity alone at home. Went to Becky's soccer game and afterward I started the short walk to the gym and ran into our home teacher who was bringing our apartment sundae's from McDonalds! (He knows how much we love McDonalds, which is a lot). After my short stint at the gym... excuses aside, my knees really do hurt and I just didn't want to be there, I came home to plate of cinammon rolls on our doorstep.

Those small acts of kindness go far. I am so appreciative of the small things, I am beyond blessed.

On a side note, I went to a "white party" with my friend Ryan a couple weeks back. It was his friends party in their backyard. It was honestly the cutest little thing I have ever been too. The pictures surfaced online so here they are!

it's about doing and becoming

Prior to conference, I could tell that this boost of faith would come to me in a large amount. I am beyond grateful for our living prophet Thomas S. Monson and every leader in the church. General conference is that twice a year extra push we get from our Heavenly Father saying, keep going, I am here for you. He speaks to us today in numerous ways and through the speakers at conference they can share one thought and millions of us can get just what we need from it. It translates to each and every one of us, in our own personal ways.

My roommate and I were just discussing how much the little things matter. Reading our scriptures, striving to keep in mind the things that matter most, trying to find ways to serve others, prayer, etc. When you start letting go of those things that seem so small, you are slowly letting go of small parts of your faith.

Every single day I need that feeling from my Heavenly Father. I can remember clearly my life without the gospel. It was a fine, happy life. I loved my family and friends, didn't make the best choices, however I was still happy. After baptism, I feel full, complete. I cannot imagine life without him, without applying the atonement to my life, without my daily prayers, without speaking to my Heavenly Father and spilling my hearts concerns and worries. Him sending his love in the form of comfort and promise for the future.

It's been a beautiful day.

some days you don't know whether to laugh or cry. how about both? the uncertainty of everything going on in your life at times feels like too much. then you get slapped over the head with a big dose of heart breaking reality. things aren't perfect. no way, really.

i have so many things to be grateful for and that is what i need to focus on. but how am i supposed to do that when your heart hurts. yes, i am a girl. yes, my heart really hurts. im sure fellow girls can feel my pain that when your heart hurts, you can't think about anything else. it's hard to be happy about all the good things going on in your life. did i buy a plane ticket to NY for november? yup. did i get accepted to the University of Utah? yup.

my heart hurts. its not anybody's fault but my own, i knew it would happen from the beginning. im too old for this.

(i am aware i did not capitalize pretty much anything in this post and my grammar sucks. but here at my pity party i am going to throw a big fat 'i don't care')

oh momma.

Today Fran posts a picture on Instagram of my mother. Saying how she is taking her out to lunch for the first time. She probably just received her first paycheck from Rubios. Anyway, I comment saying, "tell mom I love her!" and other people comment on how great she is as well. I check back in an hour later to that same picture and Fran posts, "she said she loves all her fans xoxo"....lol

Haha how can you not love my mom?! You grow up and realize that that lady is your best friend and knows everything about you. Can make you laugh any time even if it is over social media sites. Point is, I miss my mom :)

Houston we have a problem! Mayday Mayday.

no pun intended.

Sometimes you have no idea what is going on in your heart. I was pretty sure that I was in tune with my feelings, but then out of nowhere I am lost. Jokes on me! Haha. Guess the only solution to this problem is waiting it out, time is everything.

Just finished playing four-square, actually nine-square (a large group of people stretched that one out)! Bringing back to my childhood, I like it.

I feel like I am all over the place today, not just in this blog post. My brain, my heart, my health. Definitely not making any sense. Saw this today and loved it...

Today was a day of happiness! I felt incredibly grateful for the vacation I had this past weekend and the friends that surrounded me. I thought I would dread the work day ahead of me when I stepped outside this morning and it was cold enough for me to turn on the heater in my car. Luckily, I have amazing co-workers and we all keep each other sane and laughing... most of the time haha. Even though I was lazy, it felt great to run at the gym. Hopefully get rid of all that junk food I ate throughout the weekend, no regrets on that, it was oh so good. Skyped with my best friend from home Erin, for a good hour. Definitely put a smile on my face. Took my laptop in the bathroom with me while I showered. It was a perfect night for a good sing-a-long. Prayed, read my scriptures and got exactly what I needed out of them. I am blessed more than I will ever be able to realize. Goodnight y'all.