things are different

It seems like I have given up on blogging, although I still read other peoples blogs everyday. I have loved every bit of 2011, the ups and the downs.  Maybe having high expectations for 2012 is a little much. So far I have lived in Utah for a week. I love this place so far. The fact that I am on my own is great. The fact that I am surrounded by people strong in their faith that are around the same age as me is wonderful. That alone is enough. But there are some struggles, and this afternoon I am coming down with the case of dwelling on them.

It is hard when you don't know very many people. You are surrounded by so many, but they are all already close friends. I know that it is going to just take some time, but I do miss the comfort of already having all these friends at home that know me. Also, everyone attends BYU and I don't. I know that I will get there eventually, but it is just kind of a put down when they ask if  you are attending and your answer is no. I also haven't found a job yet. I know it has only been seven days, but I loved my job at home and I am just struggling to get hired somewhere! I have faith that everything will work out. I have to trust that this is where I am supposed to be because I feel it. I feel that this is where I am supposed to be. I know that everything will work out when it is right. 

But I am scared and worried. I miss my dog and I miss the friendship that I had with Jake. I miss the relationship that I had with Sam. I mostly miss people that know me. That really know me and that I feel 100% comfortable and relaxed around.